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Family Violence
Family violence covers a wide range of situations and includes physical, emotional, psychological, sexual and economic abuse. Physical abuse is the most widely known form of family violence because it is the most visible.
Family violence involves the intent by the offender to threaten or exert physical force upon the victim’s person or property. The purpose is to control behaviour by the inducement of fear; underlying all abuse is a power imbalance between victim and offender.
Victims are often afraid to leave abusive situations; when they do, the majority of victims soon return to the relationship because of poor self-esteem, and the abusing partner's promises that the abuse is over. Unfortunately, this is rarely the case. Most victims leave the situation at least three times before a complete break is achieved.
Resources
- Peer Support Centre: 780-492-HELP
- Distress Line: 780-482-HELP
- WIN House (Edmonton Women’s Shelter): 780-474-3488 / 780-477-9181
- Lurana Shelter: 780-424-5875
- A Safe Place: 780-464-7232 / 780-464-7233
- La Salle Residence: 780-482-2190
- Yellowhead Emergency Shelter for Women: 780-865-5133 / 1-800-661-0937
- Edmonton Family Violence Treatment (Changing Ways): 780-439-4635
- S.A.I.F. (Stop Abuse in Families) St. Albert: 780-460-2195
- Beyond Abuse Support Services, YWCA: 780-423-9922
- Turning Points Stony Plain: 780-963-7112
Types of Abuse
Physical Assaults
Physical assaults may include punching, slapping, choking, kicking, throwing things, burning, the use of weapons, or murder.
Sexual Assaults Unwanted touching, forced sexual activities and sex as punishment are forms of sexual assault.
Emotional/Psychological Abuse This type of abuse may include demeaning comments, name calling, threats, threats of suicide, threats of violence against the children or relatives, threats of desertion, terrorizing, verbal attacks against the victim’s personality, beliefs or behaviour, controlling activities or deprivation
Common Characteristics of Victims of Violence
- Strong emotional dependency on the partner.
- Loses sight of what is "normal."
- Begins to accept the situation as normal.
- Has an unrealistic hope the situation will get better.
- Feels loyalty toward the offender.
- Experiences low self-esteem.
- Accepts "blame" for the situation.
- Tends to be compliant.
- Is often socially and emotionally isolated.
Sometimes, an abusive relationship may have the following pattern (cycle of violence):
- Tension Building: there seems to be tension in the air, the person being abused can sense their partner’s edginess.
- Violent Episode: the tension builds until it becomes unbearable. The person being abused may even provoke violence to get it over with. The violent act occurs.
- "Honeymoon" Period: the abuser apologizes, and promises it will never happen again, possible offering gifts.
Often, this cyclical pattern can seem to "tighten." That is, the violent episodes happen more frequently with shorter or no "honeymoon" periods. Eventually, the intensity of the violence will escalate: verbal abuse may become physical abuse and physical abuse such as shoving may become slapping or punching.
Myths and Facts About Domestic Violence
| Myth | Fact |
|---|---|
| Family violence is not common. | One in ten women in Canada are victims of violence, by conservative estimates. |
| Family violence is an isolated incident, or an argument that "got out of hand." | One study showed that family violence occurred as many as 35 times before the victim first tells anyone. Abuse is rarely a one-time occurrence and tends to escalate in severity over time when there are no direct interventions. |
| Family violence is a family matter and can be solved by the family. | Assault is a crime. Police are mandated to lay charges when there are reasonable and probable grounds. It will rarely stop unless there is an intervention from outside the family. |
| Alcohol causes a man to beat his wife. | Alcohol is not the cause of violence, but facilitates the use of violence by allowing the offender to abdicate responsibility for his/her behaviour. |
| Abuse victims could leave their abusive partners if they really wanted to. | Poverty and lack of protection are real problems for women who chose to leave an abusive relationship. Single women with children form the majority of this country’s poor. Abusive partners often threaten to kill the woman—and children—if she attempts to leave. The victim’s greatest loss is self-esteem; without that the victim does not have the internal resources to take the dramatic action necessary. |
| Men who claim to be abused by their partners are lying. | Although the incidence of abuse of the male partner appears to be less, it may be a reflection of the hesitancy of the male to report his abuse. Because of the low report rate it is harder to find resources for male victims. |
Acknowledgments
The majority of information on this page was provided by the Support Network of Edmonton.
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Contact
Help Line
780-492-HELP
(780-492-4357)
Phone
780-492-4268
Fax
780-492-7267
Email
psc@su.ualberta.ca
Hours
Monday to Friday
9:00am - 8:00pm
Address
Peer Support Centre
Room 2-707
Students' Union Building
University of Alberta
8900 - 114 Street NW
Edmonton, AB
T6G 2J7
